Called to Go, Willing to Stay: A Blessing Counting Journal (5)

4. Spiritual blessing


“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” Psalm 23:1

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Hold on to His Promise!

We couldn’t see any of the blessings counted here without a strong conviction in Who is in charge of our lives. Even this faith is a free gift from God (Ephesians 2:8). Life challenges are like well prepared gifts from the One Who loves us like no one else. Some customized gifts are made with love and it may take a while to prepare. If we know for sure a joyful surprise will come in the end, we might get antsy but in a good and excited way. If we know for sure a wonderful gift is promised, we are usually much more patient and playful in the waiting process instead of feeling frustrated or upset. The waiting only makes the gift even more special. When we receive the gift, we appreciate the time and thoughts our family or friends have invested just to give us a delight and feel loved.


I started this blessing-counting journal around the one year anniversary of our recent move (read how this journal started here ). Everything seems to take longer now with little ones around, but it is all good. It gives me time to savor God’s unchanging Grace as I face each new day along with its new challenges and blessings. I am grateful for the spiritual refreshment every time when I get to write. As I am writing, Christmas is around the corner. I can’t help thinking about the most Wonderful Gift in this life!


What matters is Who is the Giver! We lack nothing in the Lord! He has promised us eternal life with Him above and abundant life here as well. Keeping this promise in mind, I see life as a continuum of various processes to receive many gifts and blessings from “my Shepherd”, who withholds no good thing from who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11). I pray “Lord, give me faith to receive every day as a gift from you to know Who You are, to embrace interruptions as your gentle reminder of Who is in control. You are so faithful and so good even when I am faithless.” Is your soul yearning for something more in this life? Are you at a low point right now? Do you desire to receive this free gift despite your difficult circumstances? Or maybe you grow up from a religious background but your heart is heavy with your self-efforts and endless rules. Do you desire a fresh start spiritually? The Good News, the eternal Gospel, is worthy of all test of time, peoples and cultures. I pray that the Lord would bring You to Himself for the true Peace. 

 

Called to Go, Willing to Stay: A Blessing Counting Journal (4)

3. Mental blessing
“…take every thought captive to obey Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5


Our emotions are influenced a lot by what we are thinking in our minds. Trials can either push us to despair or to a new delight as we gear our attention above. This life is short, very very very short, as compared to eternity. We spend a lot of time going through motions and routines without thinking much or simply allowing our thoughts to
wander. At times, our minds seem filled, so filled that we could hardly fit in anything emotional, only logic is left. At other times, our minds seem empty, so empty that we could function like a robot. We could be efficient in our work but not effective in our relationships. We could use our minds to numb our hearts, feeling like living a double-life. I have been there! Not a fun place to be. What if we set aside a certain amount of time regularly to concentrate and think about why we do what we do? What if we keep the end in our mind as we start anything? What if we search our hearts and listen to our soul’s yearning? What if the crises we are facing right now are the very things God has ordained to capture our hearts and mind for His Glory and for our own good? 

I am grateful for this soul searching time along with the toil of building a home rather than just a house. This was also the trial year for our homeschooling, the time to think about some big “why” and “how” questions in this new endeavor the Lord has led us on. In retrospect, the Lord made it clear to us to have homeschooling as a lifestyle to rely on Him daily as a family instead of simply doing school at home. 
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Called to Go, Willing to Stay: A Blessing Counting Journal (3)

2. Emotional blessing
“… God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13


Cleaning up and repairing a house is one major project! How about living in a fix-up house with two little ones and trying to manage a home? And adding homeschool to the fun? It’s emotional work. It’s easy to allow negative emotions to flood my head at times like this. God has graciously timed the weekly Bible study of “Life of Moses”(with BSF) for guarding and examining my heart. I had every temptation to grumble when DIY projects didn’t go as expected, when a quiet place simply didn’t exist or when I just felt “I deserve better” attitude. I had my fair share of emotional meltdown and tears. It was His Word and His mercy that brought me back to the Truth, to the freedom to stay calm in the midst of chaos.


The weekly commitment to leading a small group Bible study was made before I knew about the house situation. The ladies in the group know their Bible well, unlike the new believers we worked with in China. This new ministry added another dimension of emotional challenge and blessing. The opportunity to serve others in my small group has pushed me take my eyes off my own inadequacies and troubles, but to lead others to the true source of strength and wisdom in the Lord.


I am so grateful the Lord has grown my compassion toward others and a genuine interest in what really is going on in others’ life. My heart was squeezed. Thankfully, the yucky bad stuff got out and He refilled it with His goodness! I know it is an unfair trade. God’s equation never works out the worldly way. God’s mercy was ever more evident after I failed so many times. That being said, I don’t mind sharing a few heart-felt praises here, knowing those thoughts are not from my flesh but the Wonderful Counselor:
I didn’t need to clean my house for months!
We had a fully heated camp ground in the middle of winter!
The boys, including the bigger ones, had a blast in trying different tools!
Forget about kid-friendly hands-on craft. We started our homeschool year with real house projects with real tools! What a valuable lesson!
We got to keep all the tools for the projects afterwards and save money!
We know everything about the house, I mean everything!
I learned to be creative in finding quiet time and place! Bible study is never meant to be boring anyway!
Lots of father-son time!
…


I am grateful for the change of mindset and truly enjoyed most of the camping lifestyle for a season. This is not brainwashing but allowing the Spirit to do the transformational work through perspective paradigm shift in real life situations, especially those challenging ones. I am writing this down as a spiritual bookmark for future references. Before the Lord returns, storms will come again. Lord, help me and my family not waste any teachable moments You have uniquely planned! Amen!!

My friend, are you in a difficult season right now? Is it too hard to live through it? You are not alone. God is real and He knows EVERYTHING! Ask God to help you restore your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to take charge. Give it over to Jesus, the Great High Priest, “who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15)“.

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This is way we clean our kitchen. :) 

Called to Go, Willing to Stay: A Blessing Counting Journal (2)

In celebrating the one year anniversary of 10/10 moving day, I will count just 10 blessings in different categories. We believe many more are still to be unfolded as God always has a bigger plan for His children.

Before I start counting the blessings, here is the house-before according to the real estate description:

“Home is being sold ‘as is’! Spacious Bungalow in need of complete rehab! Cash buyers/Investors only! Not bank owned or short sale!Home has lots of potential on a nice lot! ”

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We bought a house, debt free! God is so good!! Praise God, the city didn’t fine us for the too-tall grass though there was a fine sign on the door knob. :-)

I will just leave it as it is and allow it to sink in a bit for your imagination. We were so busy cleaning out the house, training the big boy to live at a “construction zone” as we called it, taking care of the baby, that we didn’t have time or mood to take many pictures. Perhaps, it’s a good thing we don’t remember much detail of the messy situation then. The human brain is blessed to blur the bad memories and allow the sweet ones to stay. But, definitely, our home had and still has “lots of potential” and my heart is transformed along with the house.

With gratitude and joy, I can’t wait to give my Lord all the glory for the 10 blessings in various areas as following (in no particular order):
Continue reading “Called to Go, Willing to Stay: A Blessing Counting Journal (2)”

Called to Go, Willing to Stay: A Blessing Counting Journal (1)

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. —2 Cor. 5:1

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Camping in the backyard! The tents came with the house. :) We are grateful!

One year ago, Oct. 10th, 2014, we moved out of our rental house after four months of waiting. The reason why I could recall the date so easily is that our landlord graciously extended ten more days for our rent, which turned out to be a tremendous help for us to get everything sorted out, packed, and ready to go! As much as we tried to have advanced planning when looking for a house, we didn’t expect two-weeks of waiting would turn into four-months of waiting with “two more weeks” reply each time due to some complicated juvenile court case issues. Eventually, we started to refer to our house as a “maybe” house to our 4-year-old son as our faith dwindled bi-weekly. If you have been through some trying waiting period, you probably can relate to the anxiety involved and understand how the uncertain circumstances can push you to prayer. Continue reading “Called to Go, Willing to Stay: A Blessing Counting Journal (1)”

Happy Valentine’s !!!

 We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19 

Love, love, love! Love is in the air in this season of life in the States! I say in the States is because the Valentine’s Day I experienced in China was much more narrow-minded. It was only limited between couples. It was so commercialized that guys felt obligated to have to come up with something to please their wives or girlfriends. Instead of “giving” as a theme of the holiday, “what-did-you-get” might be the most used phrase. From our recent visit in December to China, we’ve found the material pursuit and satisfaction have taken up more space of many people’s mind and heart as life pace sped up.

Looking back, I see we could have done more to take advantage of this western holiday to express God’s love. Being a mom in the States now, I am learning all the kid’s activities along with my boys. I love how Valentine’s is celebrated by all ages, especially among kids. It is a day to express love to those around you. It is love in action, the center of Christian living. The whole book of the Holy Bible is a master piece of a love letter from the Savior, the romantic and Victorious King, the Almighty God. His love is extravagant, abundant and never fails, because He is love! If we could just scratch a little surface of the source of true love, we are enabled to love, to experience the joy in extending love. On the flip side, if we love out of selfish motives, we experience emptiness and bitterness when our expectations are not met.

For this holiday in celebrating love, I am so grateful I just finished my draft of a blessing counting journal started last October, recording the Lord’s blessings in our most recent move. I will be posting them in the following days. Here, I just want to take this opportunity to dedicate the journal first to my First love, who has always sustained me to record all the blessings. Next, I want to give this journal to my best friend and husband who walked this journey with me to open my eyes for a greater world. Also, I want to thank my wonderful in-laws and many friends who made our move much smoother through sacrificing their time, labor, and many prayers.

It took me a while to finish recording this journey but the Lord is faithful. Never thought about the day when I am going to start posting it would be on Valentine’s! Thank you, Lord, for reminding me of your Love and love around us through your people. Help me to be a clean vessel for Your use! Amen!

P.S.
As a faithful listener to Revive Our Hearts program, I am very much looking forward to the upcoming new series How to Fall and Stay in Love with Jesus. Check it out and perhaps this is exactly what you need in this season of love!

 

“A Thousand Miles to Freedom”

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst…” – John 6:35

I just finished reading the story of a North Korean girl’s surviving a hard nine year journey to freedom through her book “A Thousand Miles to Freedom“. It’s more than a story to me personally. Growing up, I have always been curious about life in North Korea. Witnessing the many changes in China, it was hard for me to believe that so many people are still living in a big lie in another country. In my mind, I felt like North Koreans are living the past of China, just for a longer time. This book has opened my eyes to the cruel reality and depth of sin. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)” It is scary to think about what human beings can do to other human beings when there is no absolute standard of morals.

I am amazed by the writer’s spirit to fight for freedom, for life and now for human rights. I am grateful for God’s protection over her body, soul and mind after all those tribulations. I am thankful for those seeds of truth planted in her search for freedom. I admire her courage, honesty, and diligence in pursuing a better life. Above all, I pray that this precious young life will continue to seek the Truth, which will lead her and many to the true Freedom. At the end of her book, during her interview for applying for scholarship to study in the U.S., she explained she left her homeland due to hunger, and now “had a different kind of hunger: the hunger to see the rest of the world… to learn how to live with others” (p.218). Nothing is wrong with that ambition. I can totally relate to that desire and dream, since once that was sort of my goal in life. However, then what? What if we have seen the world, tried the foods, had the exotic fun experiences? Then what? Cultures have so many layers, as I am seeking to live in harmony with others, what should I let go and where should I stand firm? Without a core value system, what is my base? I think that is the journey we are taking to find a balance in “3rd Culture Living“.

Many people in North Korea today are willing to risk their lives to escape from their living hell; meanwhile, many people today everywhere, including the land of freedom, America, are trying to end their lives after finding no hope. Still others are willing to give up their life of comfort to enter countries like North Korea to share the Word of hope and love.

What’s the point for protecting human rights if humans are evolved from animals anyway? If our ancestors are monkeys, why are we here with emotions and thoughts, wondering about the purpose of life? Who put those desires to live and to live with purpose into our hearts? I wrestled through those questions before I surrendered my life to the loving Lord. I still don’t have an answer why some people, like the North Koreans had to suffer or even die from hunger or poverty. I don’t deserve anything I possess either. I trust that our Heavenly Father has a bigger and better plan and I rejoice in the fact that He is willing to use a broken vessel like me to play a small part for His glory. I shall NEVER thirst or hunger in the Creator!

“Guardrails for Social Media” from Pastor Jonathan

“Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.” Hebrews 13:7 

Pastor Jonathan is a well-respected Pastor/leader at our home church (Grace CMA). He recently had a post about ways for protection when using social media. We are so thankful for such a wise and loving pastor, who summaries the boundaries in dealing with social media much better. His sharing gives us encouragement in building our blog for the Glory of God (why this site), and peace for choosing to mute the “comment” function for now (why no comments).

He says, “Want to use discretion?  Try incorporating these guardrails when using social media:

  • I will only post that which is encouraging and edifying.
  • I refuse to vent or speak negatively about anyone or anything.
  • I will take personal responsibility by removing any posts that lead to negative comments. If it incites criticism towards friends, spouse, parents, or co-workers, I will delete it.
  • I will avoid passive-aggressive posting. For example, I won’t post Bible verses pointing to the actions or words of another.
  • I won’t post seductive pictures and “selfies” to “put myself out there.”
  • If our marriage is in crisis, as we pray and work towards reconciliation, we will suspend all use of social media for the sake of our children, family, and friends.
  • If I question a post, I will ask a mature friend to review it before I post.
  • I won’t stalk the behavior of another via social media.
  • I won’t create false accounts to manipulate or deceive someone else.
  • I will share all passwords with my spouse or another family member.
  • Above all else, I will strive to use social media in a way that honors God, others, and my family, regardless of my feelings.
  • If I can’t use social media in an honoring way, I commit to deleting my account.”

Read Pastor Jonathan’s full blog post here.

“God’s Double Agent”

Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. Hebrews 13:3 
 
Just finished reading “God’s Double Agent” by Bob Fu. I have to admit I didn’t expect myself getting so hooked as soon as I started reading. From a former beggar’s son, to top student leader, to Communist party school lecturer, to house church planter, to prison, to the founder of China Aid in the U.S., Bob’s story gives a bigger picture of God’s great plans through bringing one soul to repentance. 
Growing up in the more developed east coast of China, I am very oblivious of what really happened in my parents’ generation. I heard bits and pieces when I was young about the famine and “Culture Revolution”. History class only briefly touched upon this sensitive period of time. Persecution was more like stories and it didn’t make much impact on me (or at least I think I was ready to skip that shameful era of history). As a little girl, I learned to be grateful for my time and even the Party (I received Atheist education and was taught to give the Party all the credit) and the future was bright. It wasn’t until I became a Christian, I started to become familiar with the term persecution. Continue reading ““God’s Double Agent””

Grandma Elizabeth and reflections on passing away

This past Sunday, July 12, 2015 my Grandma Elizabeth passed away. This brings memories of when my mom’s dad passed away in 2011 and when my dad’s mom passed away in 2008. Talking with my sister Julia, who is currently in Asia as part of an 11 month missions trip especially brings back when I was in China when my Grandma passed away. The wrestling of whether to try to come back, investing in my family, being there for my dad, finding closure, etc.

At that time, I couldn’t make it back, so I took part through writing instead. Here are my reflections from that time. (It is a long post as it was written to collect my thoughts, not as a blog post.)

Continue reading “Grandma Elizabeth and reflections on passing away”