A Love Letter to My Boys

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

   his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

   great is your faithfulness.” — Lamentations 3:22-23

Dear E. & I.,

I am so delighted to call you both my sons! What a privilege to be your mom! No matter what happens in the future, I wanted to make sure you know Baba(爸爸 means “daddy”in Chinese) and I love you so very much! We do what can to prepare for the worst but have total peace to know God is trustworthy and His plans are far better and sovereign.

I am not sure whether or when you will actually read this letter, but simply pausing to think about what I most want to share with you helps me gain perspective on life. How I choose to live today matters to God’s eternal plan. Knowing God’s desire gives me great pprov1717assion and caution in my walk with the Lord. His mercy is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). As you both can testify, I made a lot of mistakes and didn’t do everything right. If you fail or are in a difficult situation, don’t allow the enemy to trick you into believing lies. Resist the temptations by the power of the Spirit through reading and applying God’s Word! Allow His Word and the trials to exam your hearts as He has done to mine numerous times. He is ALWAYS faithful! We pray that you two are there for each other for good and bad times! It’s always fun to watch you two play together happily or reconcile peacefully.

Initially, Baba and I set up this blog out of a desire to give you a spiritual legacy when we are gone, or at least help to get our mindset fixed on the Kingdom above as we raise you. But you might even be gone before us if it is the Lord’s will. This legacy is not from us and not just for you! “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” (James 1:17) What a perfect Father we have! Our heart and mind are so empowered by the Heavenly legacy from our Father above, to all nations, all families! We definitely pray for God’s protection over you physically and spiritually. It saddens and scares me tremendously to think about losing you, both or either, for whatever reason. However, it grieves me even more when thinking about any chance of not seeing you, or my relatives and friends in Heaven. Continue reading

Called to Go, Willing to Stay: A Blessing Counting Journal (3)

2. Emotional blessing
God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13


Cleaning up and repairing a house is one major project! How about living in a fix-up house with two little ones and trying to manage a home? And adding homeschool to the fun? It’s emotional work. It’s easy to allow negative emotions to flood my head at times like this. God has graciously timed the weekly Bible study of “Life of Moses”(with BSF) for guarding and examining my heart. I had every temptation to grumble when DIY projects didn’t go as expected, when a quiet place simply didn’t exist or when I just felt “I deserve better” attitude. I had my fair share of emotional meltdown and tears. It was His Word and His mercy that brought me back to the Truth, to the freedom to stay calm in the midst of chaos.


The weekly commitment to leading a small group Bible study was made before I knew about the house situation. The ladies in the group know their Bible well, unlike the new believers we worked with in China. This new ministry added another dimension of emotional challenge and blessing. The opportunity to serve others in my small group has pushed me take my eyes off my own inadequacies and troubles, but to lead others to the true source of strength and wisdom in the Lord.


I am so grateful the Lord has grown my compassion toward others and a genuine interest in what really is going on in others’ life. My heart was squeezed. Thankfully, the yucky bad stuff got out and He refilled it with His goodness! I know it is an unfair trade. God’s equation never works out the worldly way. God’s mercy was ever more evident after I failed so many times. That being said, I don’t mind sharing a few heart-felt praises here, knowing those thoughts are not from my flesh but the Wonderful Counselor:
I didn’t need to clean my house for months!
We had a fully heated camp ground in the middle of winter!
The boys, including the bigger ones, had a blast in trying different tools!
Forget about kid-friendly hands-on craft. We started our homeschool year with real house projects with real tools! What a valuable lesson!
We got to keep all the tools for the projects afterwards and save money!
We know everything about the house, I mean everything!
I learned to be creative in finding quiet time and place! Bible study is never meant to be boring anyway!
Lots of father-son time!


I am grateful for the change of mindset and truly enjoyed most of the camping lifestyle for a season. This is not brainwashing but allowing the Spirit to do the transformational work through perspective paradigm shift in real life situations, especially those challenging ones. I am writing this down as a spiritual bookmark for future references. Before the Lord returns, storms will come again. Lord, help me and my family not waste any teachable moments You have uniquely planned! Amen!!

My friend, are you in a difficult season right now? Is it too hard to live through it? You are not alone. God is real and He knows EVERYTHING! Ask God to help you restore your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to take charge. Give it over to Jesus, the Great High Priest, “who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15)“.

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This is way we clean our kitchen. 🙂