Called to go, Willing to stay: A Blessing Counting Journal (10)

  1. Marital blessing (b)

if you seek it like silver

   and search for it as for hidden treasures,

then you will understand the fear of the Lord

   and find the knowledge of God.” Proverbs 2:4-5

Marital blessing counting continued (Read previous post here)– Here are some more highlights from the digging :


With our totally different backgrounds and upbringings, we actually do speak different heart languages along with its own set of non-verbal communication cues, which many times actually carries more weight than the spoken ones. I am still working on the nuances of facial expressions, gestures, idioms, tones, etc.. of the English language and making it another heart language of mine. However, it takes constant effort and intentionality. We think in our own cultural mindsets naturally. Mix in the differences between manhood and womanhood, we still have a ton to learn.


The intensity of the work on the house revealed many pitfalls in our communication patterns. How I responded to the differences brought more heart issues into my attention. For example, some of the house-related decisions needed to be made quickly. Not all of our discussions ended up with a happy ending, but that’s okay. Our God is merciful and we had many opportunities to practice forgiveness and reconciliation. It took spiritual discipline to carry the glorious cross daily through our daily communication. God is always faithful in bringing us back on track, as we commit ourselves first to Him and His will by the power of the Spirit.

IMG_20141223_084534733.jpg

Upstairs bathroom floor. Look down and you will see the kitchen. 🙂

God is love! God is beautiful! Praise God for working through my heart attitudes in embracing differences and hence celebrating God’s purpose for our marriage. This blog came to birth as we came together in our “holely” kitchen (yeah, we literally could see through the upstairs bathroom from our kitchen then), in seeking the “oneness” according to God’s blueprint (Read “why this site” here). We started the countdown to our ten-year anniversary on this site. We threw ideas back and forth for a name that could catch both of our hearts, which was a big step in forming our family mission statement. We came to know not only with our heads but with our hearts that: it is His plan, before the creation of the world, to put us two totally different individuals together as a couple, now as  parents as well, for His glorious purposes.


I have learned the hard way that there is no right or wrong answer when we are talking about personal preferences. It’s a lesson I will keep on learning and surrendering and embracing. However, I am ever more eager to learn better ways to reach out to my beloved, to be more understanding, to learn and practice his love language, and to be more like my Lord Jesus. From the first wedding on earth, marriage is always meant to glorify God, the Creator, the Ultimate Wedding Coordinator. Sadly, we are living in a broken world with broken people. The beautiful picture of a loving relationship within a marriage is polluted or distorted by so many selfish desires and decisions. (If your world is perfect, here is probably not the place for you.) I almost lost hope of a good marriage before I knew God’s beautiful plan in marriage. But the good news is He is the Victor, the Redeemer!! He meets you and I exactly where we are!!!


So, wives, if your marriage is struggling now, if you are tempted to throw in the towel in building a strong marriage, if you feel alone in this good fight for a more intimate marital relationship, or if you are loving the wonderful gift of marriage, would you allow God to bring an eternal perspective to whatever season you are in now in your marriage? You might be single. Would you surrender your most intimate desires, dreams, and fears to the perfect Bridegroom, the Faithful and True? His grand plans for His Bride is beyond our wildest dreams. Are you coming to Him, to the Wedding Banquet? “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready” (Rev. 19:7) Am I ready? Are you ready? Lord help us!