Called to go, Willing to stay: A Blessing Counting Journal (11)

  1. Parental blessing (a)

    For the Lord is good;    
    his steadfast love endures forever,
    and his faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 100:5 

Thank you, Father!

In October, 2015, I started this blessing counting journal around the one year house-owning anniversary. The Lord put ten specific areas of blessings on my heart to record. By the time I am meditating on #9, the “parental blessing”, we are already back from our one-month trip to China over the Christmas break! Once again, I am grateful for the beautiful timing. I am reminded that no matter how much our hearts are stirred due to our current circumstances (good or bad), it all shall pass. It seems like ages ago when we were rebuilding the house, now that life has much more settled down. However, the heart lessons are still as fresh as yesterday. Interestingly, time in China in many ways resembled our time with all the construction going on around the house: lots of new things everyday, no set schedule, no set place for everything, great need for flexibility and wisdom in parenting, more time with our parents (or grandparents for the boys).

When we are pushed out of our comfort zone in parenting, we are more likely to fall back to our flesh, and idolize circumstances we used to live in. We need to be more reliant on our Heavenly Father in choice-making, attitude-setting, and following His teaching from His Word and leading in the Spirit. As a mom of two active boys, I fail so many times and feel inadequate, but I am even more blessed to grow along with them by the grace of my Father above.

Yeah, we had the floor done before the baby started crawling!

I can’t go on talking about parental blessing without reflecting on my childhood. I lost my mom at age eight and my carefree days ended shortly afterwards. Parenting is such a gift for me to relive my childhood, to allow God’s love to heal those covered-up wounds, and to allow the Spirit to reveal hidden sins. Before I knew the Lord, I had dreams of pursuing a career or academic achievements. “Independence” was my pride and almost an identity growing up without a mom. “Full-time mom” never crossed my mind with the women’s liberation movement in China. With the one-child policy then, women were expected to perform as well as, if not better, than men in many fields. How gracious my Lord is in softening my heart for His better plans for me and my family! Being a full-time mom now, the Lord graciously gives me eyes to see home as the best place to grow loving relationships and so many other important life skills for everyone involved.

Furthermore, home is the best place to cultivate our hearts for His glory. I desire to be firm and gentle to my kids but I can’t achieve victories in my own private life without the Lord’s help. Our kids are uniquely gifted in pulling at my heartstrings at those off-guarded moments. Everyday is full of its opportunities for making us more like Jesus if we are earnestly seeking Him and attentive to the small voices from the Spirit. As His children, we need faith to see many of those growing opportunities disguised as problems. We never know how our life will turn out as we faithfully surrender the unknowns to the Lord, but we do know for sure it is going to be a great one with victory already promised! Lord, thank you for your mercy and grace for me everyday! Help me to extend your mercy to my children! Help them only see your goodness! May your love cover multitudes of sins in my home. Thank you, Jesus! 

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