Husband

Written on January 4, 2025.

For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. – Isaiah 54:5

I like to look up words when I am not sure about its definition. According to Wikipedia, when “husband” is used as a verb, it means “to manage carefully”, derives from an older meaning of husband, which in the 14th century referred to the ownership and care of a household or farm, but today it means the “control or judicious use of resources”, and in agriculture, the cultivation of plants or animals. Webster’s dictionary also includes “to use sparingly or conserve” and gives more details about how to “manage carefully”, i.e. to “manage prudently and economically”. In British English, “husband” is a synonym of “steward”,  manager of another’s property.

As a homesteader, I have found the definition quite interesting and comforting. You don’t have to be married to husband or practice husbandry. “Husband” has much more meaning than what is commonly known as “a married male mate”. As I home educate my three boys, a recurring concern is “what if I screw up my boys?”. Truth to be told: I often battle with following the world or the Word and a lot of times I don’t know what I am doing, be it parenting, homeschooling, homesteading, Christian marriage, and so many aspects in Christian living. My greatest comfort is His grace is sufficient for me; where I am weak, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). 

Today is one of those days! The Lord has once again graciously shown me how He is always able when I am weak. It’s a typical Missouri winter day, cold, humid, and raining. Homeschool routines will gradually start up again after the Christmas break. The baby has been up a few times during the night for the past few days. I am feeling short in my school preparation and sleep deprived. 

On the other hand, farm work is slowing down a little bit, which has given me a chance to reflect, to write, to pray through goals and needs for the season. Each busy mom can benefit from a moment to pause, to reorient, and to embrace the gift of life the Lord has given. As I am counting my blessings,  I am especially proud of my boys and of course my husband for taking care of the land, managing it carefully in so many ways. Their prudence and diligence shine even brighter during those darker and colder days. (I should add dark nights too, after the duck chasing at night episode.:-) )

In the morning, the boys will get food and water for the birds and rabbits, collect eggs, move the chicken tractor, and move the goats to fresh grass. At night, they will shut the gate and check on food again. As the temperature drops, getting outside is not as comfortable but is even more important to make sure the water is not frozen. We may have different seasonal jobs as animals or garden needs vary. For example, we recently moved the six bunnies with their mom in a rabbit tractor my husband built. We move the rabbit tractor to give them fresh bedding like we did with the meat chickens. 

Occasionally, the boys may report about any unusual happenings. A goat may get tangled and will need help to get untangled. Last week, another strange thing happened. Our favorite hen decided to go broody as we entered winter. Perhaps, she got confused by the few warm days we had earlier this month. We are fine if she quits and actually tried to discourage her from going broody. So far she is doing well under a heat lamp in our greenhouse. She seems a little confused and misses her old coop though. We will see what happens next. She is one of our original three chicks gifted to us when we first started living in the country, and hatched a flock of chicks last spring. She took a risk to initiate the multiplication and we decided to support her endeavor as much as we can. (Note: The mother hen agreed with us a few days ago that it was too cold to hatch chicks in the winter and stopped sitting on the eggs. Hopefully, she will try again in the spring.) 

Speaking of the original three chicks, one hen was killed last year by an unknown wild animal, another is a rooster (or we called him Roostie). Roostie deserves his own separate story. To keep it short and sweet here, he has become our dinner tonight. It was delicious after two days of marinating and hours of slow cooking. We have too many roosters for our hens and attempted to give a rooster away but without much interest. Roostie served us well and gave us many first fond memories of chicken-keeping. We have his picture on our wall and he has inspired my son to crow for Christ. 

Unfortunately, Roostie became more and more naughty and pecked us, our neighbors, and visitors. It hurt, but thankfully, no serious harm was done. However, he killed several of our hens, and one duck, too. We were thinking of the necessity to let Roostie go for a while, but one boy did not agree. We had asked experts, read books and knew once a rooster starts to peck people, he would need to go immediately. Our wishful thinking still had a hope that this rooster might be different and could convert. It is an unavoidable process for a new homesteader to cull an animal. We are taking each step slowly as we are pretty slow learners. Finally, our whole family agreed that Roostie needed to go before the weather would get too cold to process him outside comfortably. 

I am amazed that all the boys took it fairly well when the timing was right. The reality lesson speaks much louder than reasonings! The boy who didn’t want to remove Roostie even initiated collecting the feathers. He made a Chinese kicking toy, Jianzi, out of feathers! I love the simple joy to honor Roostie! We had previously processed meat chickens, but Roostie was our first typical farm animal being with us for over a year. It was a “tough” first-time experience, literally. We didn’t expect Roostie would have a MUCH thicker, almost rubbery skin. The tough decision gave us opportunities to discuss and learn more about husbandry basics: to manage carefully for most production, to protect people, other animals, and to consider faithful stewardship through calculating feed cost, overall benefits for sustainability, etc.

The boys spent more time inside today. The aroma of the chicken/rooster stock was floating around when everyone found their own passion to pursue. One boy was helping to rip worn-out clothing to strips for garden use or just for fun, while saving buttons and pockets for other projects. Another boy was figuring out how to use the sewing machine and made a gun strap. He was pretty proud of the end product and excited for the money saved. Another boy took out pencil and paper and started to draw garden plans for the spring! The boys were discussing where, when to grow what with great anticipation and excitment. They worked hard with my husband to dig the rocks out and prepared a new garden for this year! I am excited to hear that they are taking ownership of the new garden in their planning. Again, the word “stewardship” (or “husband”) came to my mind for areas to work on. 

Life does not get boring on a homestead, even when we are all inside! Another exciting first-time experience for today was the double-duck egg omelets! The boys saved up a dozen for a weekend special. I had veggies chopped up in advance to speed up the meal prep. The older two boys were the chefs! What a treat! It’s even more of a treat that they served with great enthusiasm. Yum, yum! Those duck eggs are extra special because they spent hours herding the ducks back home from the pond! We had to give up chasing the ducks near midnight and one boy was thrilled to find the duck eggs near the pond the next day. I am happy to report that after all the labor, the ducks are happily contained within an electrical fence in their new home, giving us duck eggs each day even in the cold winter. (My husband and son also wrote their own thoughts about the duck adventure.) 

As I am meditating on our current training focus for home education, a verse came to my mind, “… if a man knoweth not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:4-5). The Lord has entrusted those precious boys under my influence for their early years. What a privilege and great responsibility! My sons have proven to be very capable in various unprepared circumtances. With a teenager in the house now, I need to learn to let go and allow them to have more room to experiment, to learn, and to steward the land. 

Just like the ducks were excited to find the pond, able to swim without any instructions, children need to get outside, to be exposed to great living books, to apply what they have learned to meaningful work, to make mistakes, and to experiment within boundaries. Ultimately, we don’t home educate just for schooling, but we are called to make disciples with our children. I am grateful that the Lord has blessed us for this season of child-rearing to be so close to plants, animals, all his creation AND like-minded friends. 

How to raise boys in a fallen world with an increasingly blurry gender definition? If a boy does not know he is a boy, how can he know what a husband truly means? Perhaps, when “husband” as a noun is losing its original definitions, we could find some roots from its verb form. For a man to take care of the land is nothing new. Men did that for centuries in different parts of the world. The first man, Adam, was placed in a garden. Noah had a vineyard. Abraham, Jacob, Isaac, Moses, David, and Amos were farmers or shepherds. Elijah and Elisha did homesteading. Wealthy men like Job and Solomon lived a full life while working on a number of homesteading projects. Naboth was killed for guarding his own vineyard. Jesus went fishing with the fishermen. No wonder that Proverbs and Psalms have so many references to husbandry or land management.  

Knowing real homesteaders here have made those Bible stories not so ancient. His living word has made its vivid forms of illustration by being closer to the land. If I think about it, the homesteading lifestyle is not just recorded in the old but true stories in the Bible. Only one or two generations ago, most people were working with the land in some way or the other. America’s first president, George Washington, would rather be a farmer and was reluctant to be the president. The urbanized lifestyle has only been common for a brief time in the grand scheme of history. Many parts of the world still practice making a living off the land. What if the ancient wisdom is not so far away from us like we thought? What if we can be closer to the Creator by exploring more basic off-grid living options and homesteading skills? Isn’t “husband” qualified to be a simple but profound goal for raising my boys? So much to learn, or should I say unlearn?

As I sip the herbal tea preserved from our container garden, my heart is more rested and refreshed. I know my earthly husband is embracing his role to husband, AND my heavenly Husband will keep me to the end. May the Lord help me respect my husband in a way that will reflect a Godly union for His glory. I pray my boys will learn to “husband” by working with their father, and know their Maker as their Husband no matter where they are or what they do! 

Which word would you like to use for your new year focus? 

Further reading:

David Platt explains much better here for how to pray with delight to our “Husband” through the Scripture verse from Isaiah 54:5. May your love to the Redeemer be ignited. His love is truly immeasurable.