3rd Culture Living

Happy Valentine’s !!!

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

Love, love, love! Love is in the air in this season of life in the States! I say in the States is because the Valentine’s Day I experienced in China was much more narrow-minded. It was only limited between couples. It was so commercialized that guys felt obligated to have to come up with something to please their wives or girlfriends. Instead of “giving” as a theme of the holiday, “what-did-you-get” might be the most used phrase. From our recent visit in December to China, we’ve found the material pursuit and satisfaction have taken up more space of many people’s mind and heart as life pace sped up.

Looking back, I see we could have done more to take advantage of this western holiday to express God’s love. Being a mom in the States now, I am learning all the kid’s activities along with my boys. I love how Valentine’s is celebrated by all ages, especially among kids. It is a day to express love to those around you. It is love in action, the center of Christian living. The whole book of the Holy Bible is a master piece of a love letter from the Savior, the romantic and Victorious King, the Almighty God. His love is extravagant, abundant and never fails, because He is love! If we could just scratch a little surface of the source of true love, we are enabled to love, to experience the joy in extending love. On the flip side, if we love out of selfish motives, we experience emptiness and bitterness when our expectations are not met.

For this holiday in celebrating love, I am so grateful I just finished my draft of a blessing counting journal started last October, recording the Lord’s blessings in our most recent move. I will be posting them in the following days. Here, I just want to take this opportunity to dedicate the journal first to my First love, who has always sustained me to record all the blessings. Next, I want to give this journal to my best friend and husband who walked this journey with me to open my eyes for a greater world. Also, I want to thank my wonderful in-laws and many friends who made our move much smoother through sacrificing their time, labor, and many prayers.

It took me a while to finish recording this journey but the Lord is faithful. Never thought about the day when I am going to start posting it would be on Valentine’s! Thank you, Lord, for reminding me of your Love and love around us through your people. Help me to be a clean vessel for Your use! Amen!

P.S.
As a faithful listener to Revive Our Hearts program, I am very much looking forward to the upcoming new series How to Fall and Stay in Love with Jesus. Check it out and perhaps this is exactly what you need in this season of love!

“A Thousand Miles to Freedom”

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst…” – John 6:35

I just finished reading the story of a North Korean girl’s surviving a hard nine year journey to freedom through her book “A Thousand Miles to Freedom“. It’s more than a story to me personally. Growing up, I have always been curious about life in North Korea. Witnessing the many changes in China, it was hard for me to believe that so many people are still living in a big lie in another country. In my mind, I felt like North Koreans are living the past of China, just for a longer time. This book has opened my eyes to the cruel reality and depth of sin. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)” It is scary to think about what human beings can do to other human beings when there is no absolute standard of morals.

I am amazed by the writer’s spirit to fight for freedom, for life and now for human rights. I am grateful for God’s protection over her body, soul and mind after all those tribulations. I am thankful for those seeds of truth planted in her search for freedom. I admire her courage, honesty, and diligence in pursuing a better life. Above all, I pray that this precious young life will continue to seek the Truth, which will lead her and many to the true Freedom. At the end of her book, during her interview for applying for scholarship to study in the U.S., she explained she left her homeland due to hunger, and now “had a different kind of hunger: the hunger to see the rest of the world… to learn how to live with others” (p.218). Nothing is wrong with that ambition. I can totally relate to that desire and dream, since once that was sort of my goal in life. However, then what? What if we have seen the world, tried the foods, had the exotic fun experiences? Then what? Cultures have so many layers, as I am seeking to live in harmony with others, what should I let go and where should I stand firm? Without a core value system, what is my base? I think that is the journey we are taking to find a balance in “3rd Culture Living“.

Many people in North Korea today are willing to risk their lives to escape from their living hell; meanwhile, many people today everywhere, including the land of freedom, America, are trying to end their lives after finding no hope. Still others are willing to give up their life of comfort to enter countries like North Korea to share the Word of hope and love.

What’s the point for protecting human rights if humans are evolved from animals anyway? If our ancestors are monkeys, why are we here with emotions and thoughts, wondering about the purpose of life? Who put those desires to live and to live with purpose into our hearts? I wrestled through those questions before I surrendered my life to the loving Lord. I still don’t have an answer why some people, like the North Koreans had to suffer or even die from hunger or poverty. I don’t deserve anything I possess either. I trust that our Heavenly Father has a bigger and better plan and I rejoice in the fact that He is willing to use a broken vessel like me to play a small part for His glory. I shall NEVER thirst or hunger in the Creator!

“Guardrails for Social Media” from Pastor Jonathan

“Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.” Hebrews 13:7

Pastor Jonathan is a well-respected Pastor/leader at our home church (Grace CMA). He recently had a post about ways for protection when using social media. We are so thankful for such a wise and loving pastor, who summaries the boundaries in dealing with social media much better. His sharing gives us encouragement in building our blog for the Glory of God (why this site), and peace for choosing to mute the “comment” function for now (why no comments).

He says, “Want to use discretion? Try incorporating these guardrails when using social media:

I will only post that which is encouraging and edifying.
I refuse to vent or speak negatively about anyone or anything.
I will take personal responsibility by removing any posts that lead to negative comments. If it incites criticism towards friends, spouse, parents, or co-workers, I will delete it.
I will avoid passive-aggressive posting. For example, I won’t post Bible verses pointing to the actions or words of another.
I won’t post seductive pictures and “selfies” to “put myself out there.”
If our marriage is in crisis, as we pray and work towards reconciliation, we will suspend all use of social media for the sake of our children, family, and friends.
If I question a post, I will ask a mature friend to review it before I post.
I won’t stalk the behavior of another via social media.
I won’t create false accounts to manipulate or deceive someone else.
I will share all passwords with my spouse or another family member.
Above all else, I will strive to use social media in a way that honors God, others, and my family, regardless of my feelings.
If I can’t use social media in an honoring way, I commit to deleting my account.”

Read Pastor Jonathan’s full blog post here.

“God’s Double Agent”

Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. Hebrews 13:3

Just finished reading “God’s Double Agent” by Bob Fu. I have to admit I didn’t expect myself getting so hooked as soon as I started reading. From a former beggar’s son, to top student leader, to Communist party school lecturer, to house church planter, to prison, to the founder of China Aid in the U.S., Bob’s story gives a bigger picture of God’s great plans through bringing one soul to repentance.

Growing up in the more developed east coast of China, I am very oblivious of what really happened in my parents’ generation. I heard bits and pieces when I was young about the famine and “Culture Revolution”. History class only briefly touched upon this sensitive period of time. Persecution was more like stories and it didn’t make much impact on me (or at least I think I was ready to skip that shameful era of history). As a little girl, I learned to be grateful for my time and even the Party (I received Atheist education and was taught to give the Party all the credit) and the future was bright. It wasn’t until I became a Christian, I started to become familiar with the term persecution. Continue reading

Grandma Elizabeth and reflections on passing away

This past Sunday, July 12, 2015 my Grandma Elizabeth passed away. This brings memories of when my mom’s dad passed away in 2011 and when my dad’s mom passed away in 2008. Talking with my sister Julia, who is currently in Asia as part of an 11 month missions trip especially brings back when I was in China when my Grandma passed away. The wrestling of whether to try to come back, investing in my family, being there for my dad, finding closure, etc.

At that time, I couldn’t make it back, so I took part through writing instead. Here are my reflections from that time. (It is a long post as it was written to collect my thoughts, not as a blog post.)

Continue reading “Grandma Elizabeth and reflections on passing away”

6 Ways to pray for our new home.

After months of working to get the house ready, and even safe, to have guests, we were excited to have a time of prayer and dedication in June 2015. This house is God’s, and we are grateful that friends who helped and prayed for us during these months of preparation were able to come and pray with and for us for Christ’s cleansing and filling of our new home.

As well as praying specifically for each room, here are 6 general areas where we are asking God to work in us, our home and all who visit.

Seek God’s Kingdom and His righteousness first. (Matt 6:33; Hebrews 13:14)
- Truly walking in fellowship with Christ in daily life and all decisions
Love, Joy & Peace at this home. (Gal 5:22; Eph 5)
- Demonstration of His deep sacrificial love
- Joy in drawing near to him as a family
- Peace of spirit through faith in His presence and intimate work in our lives
Growing wisdom in building a home (Psalms 127:1; Matt 6:21; Matt 19:5)
- Spiritual growth in Christ and His word leading to life and discernment
- Growing marriage as we seek to live in unity of purpose and action
- That our children would not just perform and obey, but to have hearts after Christ
- Financial Wisdom and Generosity to see everything as Christ’s
Dwelling of His Spirit so the evil spirits will not have any strongholds. (Psalms 84; Phil 2:1-11, Matthew 12:43-45)
- Freedom from any strongholds previously in this house
- Moving forward in growth in Christ’s Spirit to make us more like Him
Christ’s Spirit to be moving as we have guests at our home (Matt 18:20; Col 4:5-6; Hebrews 13:15-16)
- Christ’s Spirit to touch lives and draw people to Himself
- Connection among all who come to visit
- Protection, that no one would have injury
- Joy and Perseverance reaching out to others
- Especially for currently planned group events
Continued and growing Missionary perspective (2 Corinthians 5:20; Matt 28:19-20; Acts 1:8)
- To live intentionally in all areas of life to walk with Christ and thus to have Him glorified
- To be driven to see people discipled in Christ

Grass is cut finally:-)! See what it was like here.

A Record of the Golls’ Journey

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8
Throughout all their journeys, whenever the cloud was taken up from over the tabernacle, the people of Israel would set out. But if the cloud was not taken up, then they did not set out till the day that it was taken up. For the cloud of the Lord was on the tabernacle by day, and fire was in it by night, in the sight of all the house of Israel throughout all their journeys. Exodus 40:36-38

June 2015	Home Dedication & Beginning to be able to practice hospitality
Oct. 2014	Move out of the house on Greenleaf Ave, Parma Hts.
Sept. 2014	Signed on our new house We bought a house with lots of “potential” :), but debt free! God is so good!! It was not a house you would fall in love at first sight, but a home you will grow to love with your loved ones day by day!!
May ~ Sept. 2014	Waiting on God’s timing and direction during uncertainty with the “Maybe house”.
May 2014	Isaiah was born
Sept. 2012	Move into the rental house, Greenleaf Ave,ParmaHts. This move blessed us with: wonderful neighbors (with young children), the ability to have Elijah run around outside a place to grow our garden an easier time having guests We weren’t looking to move, but what a blessing that house became during the two years we were there. A search for a home for our garden has led us to a house! Third home!
Sept. 2011	Move into the apartment, North Church Dr., Parma Hts. We enjoyed our one-year stay at the apartment. No grass to mow, no snow to shovel, unlimited heat/air. Why the move? We thought we would stay there until heading back to China. God has a different, and always better plan in store.
Dec. 2010	Elijah was born
Sept. 2010	Move into the first house, Vandalia, Cleveland First home in the States! God provided a house fully furnished. What a gift!
July 2010	Departed China, arrived in America and stayed with Rob’s parents for a few weeks. Goodbye, 再见, China! No thrift store, no garage sell, no storage unit. Give it all away and it felt great!
July 2006	Rob and Elyse married at Grace Church and started life together
Birth – Marriage	The above is a glance at our life journey together. Click here to read our engagement newsletter for the story of how we met, etc.

All in!

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. – Col 3:17

Another of the disciples said to him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” And Jesus said to him, “Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead.” – Matt 8:21-22

I like sports but am not a fan by any standard. This ignorance of what game is going on can be embarrassing at times. For example, I would never consider the sports season when dressing my baby before coming to the States. Culture shock is an interesting thing, while the culture can seem like the air you breath when it is what you know.

When I was at college studying English in China, one of the professors strongly recommended us to read the Bible and Shakespeare’s works to have more language sense and culture background. God definitely used her recommendation in my spiritual seeking of the Truth. However, she didn’t mention another very important element in the American culture, that is, … You guessed it, GAMES.

Being culturally sensitive, we do see sports and games as a great outreach tool in the U.S.. There is always some sort of game going on, football season, basketball season, baseball season, the seasons of the year. It makes a natural conversation starter, ice breaker. A lot of idioms and popular phrases are based on games, such as “home run”, “have a rain check”, “touch base”. Feel free to share more for my English improvement. As it is right now in the Cleveland area, it is definitely “ALL IN”!

This passion to support the local team or a favorite star is contagious. Commercials are everywhere and you can’t miss the message. People feel excited to be a part of a great event. No matter the outcome, they are “ALL IN”. We are created to follow, to have a purposeful mission, to be fulfilled in something bigger than ourselves. What if there is a greater game? An invincible star? A guaranteed victory? Am I in? Are you in?Are you all in? Not only in the spectators seat, but actually playing game? The game is on! Again, am I all in? Are you ALL IN?

Why “no comments”?

“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. -1 Corinthians 6:12

“Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.” – Eph 5:4

Rob and I decided to turn off the “comment” function for our blog pages. Anything pulling me away from worshiping my Lord should be removed. This can mean different things to different people at different seasons in life. For this season of my life, I simply don’t see myself having the time or energy to manage people’s comments in a second language. As a people-pleaser, I also see the potential distractions and temptations the “comments” can bring to my life. Positive or negative comments can feed my mind with people’s thoughts or fluctuate my emotions due to dwelling on what others are thinking. Instead of turning off this feature when we have to in the future, we decide to choose to set the boundaries from the get-go. The older I get, the more I appreciate various boundaries in life as a protection and wisdom. We started this blog not for high hits (read “Why this site“).

However, this does not at all mean that we are shutting down communications. We would still love to hear from the readers through the “Contact Us” page, other forms of social media, or even better in person. The “comment” feature is like allowing strangers into my house. We will either have no control over what people might say, or need to spend time managing messages that would be more meaningfully invested elsewhere. We know most comments would be delightful and encouraging. However, it’s the minority that is hard to predict and even positive comments can bring distraction. Another blogger can always link to us as a way to bring more thought-provoking discussions on topics of interest.

In conclusion, we see “no comments” as a way to encourage more meaningful communications rather than monologue.

Budget Your Money… Free Yourself to Give, Save and Spend with Joy

Do ANY of the following sound appealing?

Having the freedom to give more!
Being able to spend without worry!
Having the ability to save more!
Having less stress!

Another question…

Which word best describes a budget?

A. Limits
B. Freedom

This post is being written to myself as much as anyone. Having a budget is not always fun and can seem limiting… at first, but once the budget is there (the fast part) and the habits are formed (the slow part), a budget is incredibly freeing! This is true for anyone, not matter their income (though some may notice the benefits more than others.

What about the rich?

The question you may be thinking is “What about the very rich? They don’t need a budget. They never run out of money.”

Since most people don’t consider themselves to be very rich, though if you are reading this in the U.S., you are in the richest 5% of the world, I will only address this briefly. While the rich may be able to spend and give without much worry (though they do worry), having a reasonable budget would free them to have the joy of giving more, even much more, instead of needing a large buffer to make sure they don’t spend too much. A budget, even setting self imposed spending limits also creates the fun of working towards something. I heard an interesting “fact” (I did look into it enough to be convinced it is true, but don’t know the exact statistics), that many pro-athletes end up filing for bankruptcy after they retire since they have gotten into social groups and a lifestyle of high spending and those lifestyle habits continue when the income is no longer there to match it.

So how about the rest of us?

Click here for a copy of our budget (cleared of our details) for you to use.

(Note: This budget has many different items listed. You likely won’t use all of them. We have combined the lists from several budget plans and added some of our own to have as complete of a list as possible, but you still may need to add more depending on how you spend your money.)

Example Budget (Quickly done, so the numbers may not seem reasonable)

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Other Budgeting Help

Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com) has great info about budgeting, getting rid of debt, etc.

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